The Complicated Relationship

If it’s not the most taboo subject in the modern India, it is most certainly frowned upon and considered as an utterly uncomfortable and useless topic to talk about. So for the sake of creating a new fuss and bombarding my boredness with a fresh set of puns, here goes my yet another irrelevant and censored blog post about:

Problems men have from ‘untimely erections’ or as you might have heard ‘man wood’ or ‘involuntary standing ovation’ by your honour Mr. John Pee-Pee.

Now the way we go about sex education in this country is appalling. I mean, until about I was 13, I was convinced that my ‘garden of good and evil’ (balls) is used to store pee. You can imagine what kind of other impending issues I might have with Mr Pee-Pee.

I mean, this has to be the most complicated relationship a guy will ever have. You might have heard them saying …. “oh… I have a very “complicated” relationship with her/him”. Well obviously, they haven’t tried peeing with an erection.

Talking about sex education and women always yelping about their period problems, well I surveyed 100 women and asked them what kind of problems they face while peeing and you won’t eberrr believe, 98 of them said: "How the hell did you get in here?"

Anyways let’s keep this discussion about men problems only.

So what’s with it showing ‘up’ for work, without invitation, every-single-morning when you wake up, huh! I mean you haven’t activated any launch sequence and yet the rocket is ready to burst into flames trying to come out of the ‘Pajama-Hemisphere’. And I think I don’t even need to tell you how awkward and un-comfortable it is to hold on to your thing for 5 minutes (or more) on the bed, before you can take a piss, doing all kinds of breathing exercise to get the blood flow out of it.

I tell you, this one time, the bad-ass-stubborn I am, I tried to pee regardless of how colossus this Goliath-Python was looking ‘above’ from the ginormous hippie bush I have supported, at me angrily ‘all-red’. But I showed him no mercy, I went into the bathroom, stood above the iron throne, looked down and I peed so freakin hard. But, as you might imagine, evidently, that upward-parabolic-stream short-circuited the bulb hanging above in the bathroom. Go figure.

So next time if you're having trouble making the ‘wee-wacky’ because of the ‘woo-hoo’, just stay put and admire this behemoth creature and give him his due respect, that he obviously so desperately craves for.

*rolls eyes*
Aghhh !

PS: If tying a Nimbu Mirchi helps ward off evil. I think men should never have to suffer from any evil. I am jusst saying.